Where’s the apology?

Another athlete, with a history of assaulting women, assaults a woman and apologizes to everyone, thats right you guessed it, except the woman.

This has been an all too common occurence. Apologies include the owner, his teammates, the fans and then the seemingly obligatory I need to change. However, the most important part of change is being accountable. By not apologizing to the victim fails to fulfill actually being accountable. Let’s get it right. Saying “I’m Sorry” is not being accountable. This has long been apart of male privilege. Saying sorry but not actually taking steps to make amends or make sure that you make changes especially when it comes to our view of women. Historically, just like in rape cases, I’m going to hear “Well, what did she do to him for him to act that way?” The better question for all men is to ask “Who is doing this to women? And Why?” In short terms, it’s us because it works and it is accepted. Male Privilege. Until men start having discussions like that one the only answer we will have is “that is just the way things are”. Maybe if men like Larry Johnson who has his face on the internet and tv start apologizing publicly to their victims and break the deafining silence by owning up to their behavior and acknowledging our abuse and oppression, we can start accepting the reality of our male privilege. By not apologizing to the victim, we are silently contesting their reality. We discredit them as victims to other men because of the above mentioned questions that will inevitably be asked. Often first by the law enforcment who do further victimization.

How many young men wearing Larry Johnson jerseys are getting the wrong message from his “apology” and will victimize women themselves? Just a thought.

Published in: on October 22, 2008 at 11:03 pm  Comments (5)  
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5 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. great post! i came here via http://www.shakesville.com and really enjoyed this. it’s so nice to hear a feminist message from a man without any caveats about how it doesn’t mean he’s not a “real man”.

  2. Hello there!

    We need to also remember how much sexual predator behavior is CONDONED within the black community…. these predators are “made” not born.

    Peace, blessings and DUNAMIS!
    Lisa

  3. Another visitor from Shakesville too! Thank you for this post!

  4. I followed your ‘footprints’ from another site (Steadycat).

    This post is great! The thought of “male privilege” never occurred to me until reading what you’d written. My situation was a bit different. If you take a look at the post I’d written titled…Heartache at The Hands of The “Church”…you’ll soon see what I am refering to.

    I’d be VERY interested in what you have to say if you take a moment to read that post. There seem to be “excuses” for men that are not afforded women in the same situations.

    I hope you don’t mind, but I copied and emailed this post to one of my colleague that is still overseas (Sudan).

    Kindest Regards,

    Michelle

  5. I’ve been meaning to drop a line just to say thanks. Your blog and thoughts have impacted me. Some posts brought me to tears. Your effort is really something to feel good about. Thank you.


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